Submission by boig.
THIS IS THE GREATEST, MOST PLAUSIBLE HEADCANON I HAVE EVER HEARD HOLY FUUUU
OH. OH. Because of course Sherlock uses a Dvorak keyboard and the minute he got his hands on John’s laptop he decided to improve it for him.
“Sherlock, what the bloody buggering fuck did you do to my keyboard?”
“Mm?” Sherlock looks up from the newspaper, his face impassive.
“All the letters are wrong. It was working fine until you stole it.” John sighs, scrubbing his face with his hands.
“Borrowed it. You have it back now, don’t you?”
“Whatever. Fix it.”
“I did. Your keyboard is in DVORAK now, it’s much more efficient.” He looks bored and smug at the same time, a patented Sherlock combination.
John looks perplexed. “Wasn’t he a composer?”
Sherlock raises a brow, but says nothing. John takes a few deep breaths, exhaling through his nose in an attempt to calm himself.
“I don’t care who he is, I don’t care if it’s more efficient. Just fix it, you arse.”
Sherlock frowns. “Fine, fine. Just don’t complain to me if you get some sort of repetitive strain issue when you write those flowery, long-winded blog posts.”